Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
