Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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