i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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