Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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