I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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