dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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