Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
