drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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