No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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