Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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