And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
