Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
