my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
