If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am available for nakedness
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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