I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
