Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Sober January is a disaster.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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