I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My life is pants optional.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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