Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
