Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
