he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
