Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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