No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
