I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
