Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
