I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
