Is it because I queefed?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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