8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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