You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
