I just made out with a guy for $7.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
