tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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