Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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