Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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