my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
