she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
