Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
