Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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