you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
