he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
