I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
