people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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