So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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