I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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