Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
