And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
