Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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