I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
