I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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