I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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