why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
