Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
