she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize