Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
