too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
