idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
