Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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