I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
