i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
