You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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