just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
