Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Randomize