mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
