also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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