That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
