I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
