So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Four minutes until I can fart!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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